My Skin Journey

Part of the modern-day #SelfCare is face masks, (Afro) wash day, and long bubble baths. Who would’ve thought that one of those would lead me here… Talking about my skin journey.

So I’ve had “normal” skin challenges for a while. By normal I mean the odd breakouts that come and go. Nothing I couldn’t manage with over the counter treatment, my favourite “treatment” is drinking a lot of water. For years it seemed to work, up to a certain point. Last year, 2020, my skin suddenly showed me flames. The first flame came when I developed pimples that left dark marks, this time the marks were very visible. I asked someone what they used on their skin, knowing very well how it’s a bad idea, I tried something different. And then the real trouble began.

I remember one day my facial skin was burning so much, anything that touched me inflicted an irritation that wouldn’t go away for a while. All I could do was cry and use a face roller to soothe the burn.

My Self-Esteem

Never ever, did I think my skin would cause me to experience low self-esteem as I did. Actually, to say my self-esteem took a knock is an understatement. I spend the festive season wondering what was going on and reading up on how to fix it.

I first realized the acne affected my self-esteem when I consciously hid my face with my hair. One day my crush sat very close to me and asked me WTF was going on. This dude didn’t see anything when I took off my mask (or so he says) until I mentioned that I was considering going for skin treatment. Only then did he notice that my skin was different and slightly darker (from the scarring). Anyway, he reaffirmed to me that I was okay but I still didn’t believe him. My mind was telling me otherwise.

I knew it affected me when I started to dread taking selfies. Like… To know me is to know how much I live by “A selfie a day, keeps the haters away” lol. I went through my phone in December 2020 and saw that I’d taken very few selfies in the last 4 months or so.

Stop Giving Unsolicited Advice

The most interesting thing about humans is their ability to give advice where it is not asked for or to mention something You already know. “OMG, Your skin” or “You should try xyz, it’s really great…” Those kinds of statements made it harder to move forward and focus on healing, rather than focus on the problem.

At the beginning of this journey, when my skin was breaking out a lot, I had so many people give unsolicited advice. Everything from breakout treatment to soaps and creams. I couldn’t turn a corner without someone giving their version of “the best skin routine”. I’ve learned the hard way that these recommendations were not for me and were not based on my skin type. What works for someone else will not work for me. And, who asked You? It sounds rude but it can be too much on the receiving end.

The Cause

I believe that the outside is a reflection of what is going on on the inside. So I was curious about what caused this, from the inside. A holistic healer suggested that the internal cause was emotional turmoil that I was not dealing with. For a while, I struggled to figure out what he was talking about. Is it stress? If yes, I can’t locate where the stress comes from.

The odd thing is how everything else in my life was falling into place. I moved into my new home, work was okay, my friends were amazing, I was going on dates again. What could be the cause?

Seeking Help

At some point, I looked into all sorts of treatments; including chemical peels, some skin rejuvenation things. I almost went on a drip that promised to get my glow back.

At the end of December 2020, I reached a point of acceptance. Kgoshigadi, we are here now. Now what? And just like that I surrendered and let those who know better help me. Finally, I set an appointment with a dermatologist. This appointment is overdue, I’ve been avoiding the visit to the dermatologist for a while now. I’ve had all the resources but the “I got this” attitude got me here. Watching YouTube channels also didn’t do me justice.

Dermatology vs. Aesthetics

I’m still not completely sure of the difference between a dermatologist and an aesthetics clinic. Study.com says the key distinction is that dermatologists are medical doctors and qualified to diagnose and treat medical conditions that affect the skin. Aestheticians on the other hand concentrate on the skin’s appearance and may use facials or other treatments to improve the skin’s appearance or care for problems such as acne.

I’ve heard of many women who have spent quite a bit of money on aesthetics treatment and experienced bare minimal improvement, after painful treatments. I know someone who is also on this journey and she also opted for aesthetics treatment. Her schedule looks hectic but it’s working for her so far. I opted for a dermatologist, I don’t know why but it feels safer.

I’m tempted to give this journey 3 months, but I’ll just let it be. It could take a month or longer. I’ll leave that to the dermatologist to prescribe, mine is to do what they say and be consistent. As nervous as I am, I’m excited about finally getting help. I have some inner work to do with regaining my self-esteem but I’m grateful.

I’ll update you in three months.

UPDATE

Hello, I come back! I know I promised an update after three months but I had to reconsider after my first consultation with Dr. Ayanda Motau. She told me to give it six months minimum. So here we are…

If someone would’ve told me in February that I would have smooth skin again on my birthday month, I would’ve rolled over in laughter. I am still in awe of how I can now enjoy my skin without makeup, and I’m taking selfies again. I’m not going to lie, the journey has been hectic. Here I am, six months later.

Oral meds

I was put on prescribed oral medication called Acnetane. I only found out after the fact that it is actually used by a lot of people to help clear their skin. I also took the side effects lightly, I was never ready for what would take place. I experienced very dry lips, sunburn, I cried a lot in the first month, and I had to eat certain things again (full cream cow’s milk). I was warned about the dry lips but I didn’t anticipate it would be that bad. I had to moisturize my lips every 10 seconds or they would start feeling funny. I still do. My eyes would be dry, I had to induce tears or use eye drops to relieve them. Fam… The first two months were hell, but after that, I was used to the “pain”.

Sunburn

The sunburns were bad, a few seconds in the sun and my whole face would turn red and cause pigmentation. I usually go for a jog around 7 am, but I was advised to start going before sunrise. I once went at 7 am and I took five steps forward and 10 back. Never did that again. I was also given a new skin routine to use for my new skin. The price of the products was steep but it was worth it. Surprisingly, the skin routine was so simple, it was hard to believe it would work as well as it did. I threw away all products I used before that and promised that I would stick to this one.

New me, who dis?

Words cannot begin to describe how grateful I am for my skin and I will never take for granted the gift of beautiful skin. I don’t take for granted having a life coach, she helped to deal with the internal issues I had that also caused the breakouts. The journey continues. I’m still on the meds until my consultation in January 2021, hopefully, by then Dr. Ayanda will take me off the meds completely. Am I nervous? Yes. But I look forward to seeing what else is possible and how does it get better than this?