The last month or so has been uncomfortable for me.
Every inch of me has been yearning for a change. Change in scenery, change in thoughts, change in attitude, change in wardrobe. Heck, I was even yearning for a change in hairstyles. And after months of contemplating this, I woke up one day and thought today is the day.
I shaved off my beloved Afro.
I’ve been growing my natural hair for a year now and I’ve been attached to it. I didn’t realize this until the thought of cutting my hair freaked me out. Don’t get me wrong, I love my natural hair and cutting it now was not just about cutting hair. It was also a spiritual letting go of parts of me I’ve been strongly holding on to. Part of me that is living in fear of the future, part of me that is resisting change, part of me that still feels the need to prove a point to everyone, and to be good at everything. Well, I’m done with that sh!t, it’s exhausting!
I’m making crazy plans for my 29th birthday in September and even crazier plans for my 30th birthday (on the 30th September). I’m putting in the work; planning and researching, speaking to people. I sincerely pray that God grants me the spirit to execute these big plans and that I have the courage to follow through.
I’ve declared the month of May a month of divine order and making bold moves; here’s one of them. As for growing my hair back? I don’t know yet. I think I’ll keep this hairstyle for a while. Also, my mom asked me to grow an island and braid it while I continue to shave the sides. I think she wants to live her wildest hair dreams through me, lol. One thing I do know is I’m finding myself again! One day at a time and one decision at a time.
Here’s to doing more of me!
Lots of love
ke Kgoshigadi, still walking in reign…