There we were, on a Saturday morning at Cradle Moon getting ready for a hike. For many this was probably the first exercise of the year, with the promise to keep it up in 2026. For some like me, nervous to be hiking with a group of people I don’t know.
There was a very specific ground rule: No work talk. No selling. No “value adds.”
The silence that followed that instruction was loud, and it was followed by laughter. This revealed the uncomfortable truth about where hustle culture has landed us: we’ve become so entangled with our titles and our “grind” that we’ve forgotten how to be human beings without a LinkedIn profile attached to our personalities. My second task I had was to pace the pack, the invite said we would be done by 10am. So we were ready to go, and the question in my mind for myself (and everyone I’d meet) was; who are you?
The Identity Crisis
To fulfill my second task, I found myself far ahead of everyone else. It was a sigh of relief as I played with the question in my mind, can I really strike a conversation without the temptation to discuss work? Do I even have to make the effort? Before I knew it, a couple caught up with me and the conversations were a stop and go. They recognized my voice, and I had to quickly sway the conversation. They also shared where they studied, and it was a giveaway what they did for work. Again I made the effort to sway the conversation,
Not sure how we got here, but this is what I think contributes to the identity crisis:
- We don’t know who we are outside of the office.
- Our hobbies have been monetized (or abandoned because they didn’t “scale”).
- We view every new person as a lead, not a soul.
It’s actually exhausting. We’ve turned every social interaction into a networking opportunity, constantly scanning the room, or the trail, to see what we can get from someone rather than what we can share with them.
Breaking the “Transaction” Habit
We eventually got the hang of it and spoke about the things that actually matter. We spoke about 2025, and how it served curveballs. We spoke about childhood memories that had nothing to do with “leadership skills.” We talked about what makes us laugh when no one is watching, and eventually laughed at ourselves for taking so long to get into the groove of the conversation.
I appreciated a brief moment when we came across an old lady who tripped, and fell into the water. I appreciated the moment because it achieved what the hike was meant to achieve, it didn’t matter who the lady was, or if she could fund my new project. We were all of sound mind that she needed help, and her family needed to be comforted when she resurfaced. The incident was a topic of discussion for a while, and it further cemented genuine conversation. That moment was the realest and unexpected.
The Takeaway
We need to reclaim the art of being “useless.” Not every walk needs to be a strategy session. Not every person you meet needs to be a bridge to your next promotion.
If you stripped away your job title tomorrow, would you still have a story to tell? Because the most interesting parts of you aren’t the ones you put on a resume. They’re the parts that come alive when the laptop is closed and the trail begins.
Let’s stop trying to “get” something from every interaction and start trying to be someone in them.
These a series of similar hikes coming up organized by Selebogo Molefe aka @DrLifesGud. Join the hikes and see if you can spend 3 hours away from your work title. Check out his social media pages for updates.
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